I had a question about the foster mothers (family) and thought it would make for a good post.
The foster mothers vary in age but most tend to start fostering when they have teenage children. It's common for them to foster many children over their lifetime. I've heard of women fostering anywhere from 1-25 children over the years. A large portion of the cost of adoption is for the care of our child for his first 8-10mos, which includes the foster family.
The motivation to foster (as far as I can tell) for many of these women is the love of country and love of children. The foster mothers seem to feel a sense of duty that they help give the children of South Korea the best chance for a good life from the beginning, wherever they end up in the world. There is a feeling that they are very much part of Korea and always will be. They realize the importance of foster care over life in an orphanage and take their jobs very seriously.
Not only do these amazing women make daily sacrifices to care for these beautiful babies, they truly love them. Our social worker told us a touching story from the Korea Party. If you recall, there were a few foster mothers that were reuniting with the children they fostered. The reunions happened in the afternoon and in private. During lunch, before the reunion, one of the foster mothers was sitting at a table and looked across the room in a sea of Korean children and instantly recognized an 8-year-old girl that she had fostered. She didn't hestitate and ran up to the girl to give her a big hug. This is a girl she hadn't seen in 8 yrs and last time she did, she was a few months old, and she's probably fostered 8-15 babies since then. That, my friends is LOVE.
We know our baby is being well taken of and loved by a special woman we don't even know, half way around the world. We look forward to meeting her, thanking her, and learning about our baby from her.
Some people have kept in touch with the foster mothers/family over the years. We hope we have that opportunity, but we understand for families that have 1-2 babies a year over many years...it may not be possible.
5 comments:
I think it is becoming more and more common to maintain some sort of communication, but I think it is up to you to make the first move. Most of these foster mothers don't want to threaten you or step on toes (and the agency will certainly not suggest it as it is not policy), so I would suggest that you ask them if you could give them your e-mail address or blog, and see if they give theirs in return. I would bet they do.
Our foster family checks our blog multiple times each day. They can see pictures and watch Seth grow without having to always deal with e-mail and translation. We do e-mail, but very rarely because there isn't always something to say. They post on our blog and it's a wonderful way to stay connected. Our entire family is blessed to be able to continue to communicate and form a relationship with people who love Seth and helped raise him.
As for the foster mothers themselves--I have so much respect for them because I cannot imagine being selfless enough to do what they do, knowing they will have their hearts broken again and again. They are beautiful souls doing a beautiful thing.
Hopefully you will have a picture of your child's foster mother soon!
Thanks for sharing what you learned about these amazing families.
This was just what I needed to hear today. As I wait the next few months for Nyah to come home, I of course want it to go instantly fast so that I can have her home with us. But it is comforting to know that my daughter is being cared for by a wonderfully loving woman right now and even if something happens and paperwork stalls, she is being loved.
thanks for the post.
Thank you so much... I needed to hear that. I know it in my mind that my son is being loved and cared for. But hearing it again helps. Great post. I appreciate it.
Tracy
I have also read a little about Foster mothers. But you very much put a whole new light on it all! It give a tremendous amount of comfort to our family to know our baby is well taken care of as we wait for our travel call. It also breaks my heart to know that this foster mommy has given her heart to our baby, and will have to say goodbye to her. It is sad and brings tears to my eyes! They do dedicate themselves to our children, what a sacrifice they make..God bless them!
Tina
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