Twitchy

We've been officially waiting one year for Seoul Bro's referral. I've been, as I like to say, a bit 'twitchy' the past few weeks. When we originally got 'on the list' we were told it would be "about a year" until referral and in my head I figured we would get his referral around the Fourth of July. Then, we were all of sudden #7 on the list and referrals were coming in quick, our social worker thought early May. I have to say when she told me that, I began to panic. We weren't quite ready then.
Since about late May, I got the 'twitch.' You know...when you carry your phone everywhere with you. You wake up every day thinking 'today could be the day!' When every time the phone rings you jump. When if you put your phone down for 5mins you run back to it and expect/hope for 10 missed calls from your social worker and husband. When you begin to think the referral is just never going to come, ever. When you check your email compulsively if for some reason your social worker decides to email instead of call. I only let myself 'twitch' until 11am each day. I figure if the call doesn't come by then, it ain't coming. Now, I know it *could* come later, but no one needs me twitching all day.
In all honesty, I'm glad I'm feeling this way. I was a crazy person for a good 5 months waiting for Gabe's referral and I was afraid Seoul Bro's would come in and I would be too cool about it. Not that I wouldn't be excited, but that the anticipation wouldn't be as strong or intense. Trust me, Seoul Bro, I was JUST as excited for the phone to ring for you. I can't wait to see his picture, know his story, where he was born, his measurements, his personality traits, etc. In some ways, I may be a tad more excited since I know what the referral means in the long run. This cute little boy holding court in his throne, is a real baby, our real son, Gabe's real brother and will one day be in our house and lives learning, growing, exploring and all the things that make me and Dave look at each other and realize we are the luckiest people in the world.
I'm not worried that his referral hasn't come in and I don't really care why. I know this process works. From the matching to the traveling. Though sometimes the emotions are so strong they are physically painful, it does work out as it should. Until the phone rings, I'll keep on twitching in the morning and waiting patiently in the afternoon and will excitedly share the news of our new son as soon as I can.