This is a post I wrote about 2 mos ago but a few of my friends are struggling with this now, so I thought it would be a good time to post it.
Recently, I've seen a lot of discussion on whether or not to keep a blog public or to make the move to private. I respect the reasons why people go private, but I wanted to write a post explaining the reasons why I've stayed public.
1. When we started to look into adoption, the different blogs were such a beacon of hope for me. It was so helpful in our process to see what others had done, how long things took, and of course the sweet babies at the end. I hope that I have provided that hope for other waiting moms that need that little support to get them through. It can be intimidating to ask for an 'invite' to a private blog of someone you don't know at all, so I'm thankful to all those that were 'public' when I needed it. So, in a way, this is me paying it forward.
2. The connections made have been wonderful. I've met amazing friends through my blog, that I'm certain I would not have met if LBOS was password protected. Also, people connect to each other through our blogs. I know a reader of mine was connected to her child's foster family through my blog. I'm glad that LBOS was able to help make that connection.
3. I write my blog for people to actually read it. If someone cares enough and sometimes enjoys what I have to say enough to keep coming back, I'm appreciative and flattered by that and I don't want to make it more difficult for them to do. Well... it used to be more about what I said and now it's more about the pics...but I'm ok with that (and still flattered). If some of my casual readers didn't know much about Korea or adoption and they learn a little something or view Korea or adoption a more positive way...that's only good for my family. Sorry to say, but I don't read the private blogs as much, since it takes an extra step and sometimes I just forget.
I think that people have security concerns and that is understandable. I purposely leave out certain info, just in case. Or sometimes people want to be more open with their thoughts and feelings and get a little uneasy with so many 'unknown' people knowing intimate thoughts. I totally get that...I'm not trying to convince anyone to go public if they feel uncomfortable, just trying to give some 'pros' to staying public.
Ultimately, I think that the people that read my blog are doing so for good reasons, I don't think anyone is reading LBOS in a sea of millions of blogs with bad intent. Maybe that's naive, but so far, I have no reason for concern. I do reserve the right to change my mind though if that changes :)
Blog on...
25 comments:
your blog has been an amazing support for many people! thanks for sharing your life with us!
Wonderful. This makes me feel better about our blog staying public. Thanks.
I've gone back and forth in my head about this one too. For now, I am comfortable with my public status. I was desperate to find other blogs of people who had adopted older, waiting children from Korea and they were few and far between. I am also hoping to reach out to some people who might be dealing with a similar diagnosis in their children. But mostly I enjoy sharing our real life ups and downs, and showing off my cute boys! And I am with you--I have never and will never request to read a private blog of someone I don't know...even when they leave comments on my blog. Feels too intrusive.
I think you know that I will always be grateful for your public status...it certainly helped build an important bridge for our family!!!
Public or private, I'm forever a LBOS reader! :)
LBOS was one of the first blogs I started following. It continues to provide so much hope for me!! I have a private one - only because I started it with older kids in the house that I knew I would talk about (and wasn't sure I'd be smart enough to remember to leave certain details out!).
Thanks for sharing. :) I do appreciate your public status.
Interesting points for sure. I guess we all have moments of questioning how much we want the rest of the world to have access to our lives. But you're definitely right about how grateful I am for the public blogs I found when we were PAPs. I'm glad you shared your thoughts on this as I'm questioning my own blog's destiny... :)
I'm so glad you are public! my husband and i are just getting started with the adoption journey and certain blogs have played a major influence on us! I really miss seeing little Lucy. That family has inspired us soooooo much! (which is who's blog I think you are talking about)
Thanks again for staying public! God is going to use you and your family to help inspire others!
God Bless!
Kristin
I have appreciated your blog being public and I have chosen to have ours public as well. Since we are public I have left out our last names and where we live on my profile (that is why posts just list our last initial..)
The reasons you state are the reasons I left ours public for as long as I could! You know why I took it private...and why it bums me out to do that, for all the reasons in this post. I'm with Cori - public of no, I'll be reading LBOS!
I have thought about the same thing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Makes me feel much better! It is fabulous to connect through our blogs and see how our babies are all doing!
Amen girl. Thanks for articulating this so well. I'm hoping to stay public as long as I possibly can... hopefully for as long as I have the blog!
What a great post about your public intentions. Our pastor told us that we need to use our "sphere of influence" in a positive way. I believe that by leaving your blog public, you are able to use your sphere of influence to make a difference in the lives of people who are seeking information and success stories of Korean adoption. Kudos to you for fulfilling that need. :)
Thanks for this post. I've been going back and forth in my head about this for a few months now. I think I'll follow your lead and keep it public, unless I find a reason otherwise. And I love following along on LBOS.
I love to read your blog and updates on Gabe.
Thank you for this post, Joanna. I value your opinion on this topic so much. As you probably know from my comment on Elizabeth's blog post yesterday, I have recently thought about private vs. public, and I have some of the same thoughts as you about why I stay public. I think your blog was the first or second one I found but more importantly it's the one that connected me to so many of the bloggers that I now consider my friends. So you really have done a wonderful thing for the rest of us by being that bridge. In fact, I just returned from lunch with Sarah B. who lives and works right near me but I never would have found without you who lives 2000 miles away! Amazing.
Also, as you know, we get so little info from our social worker, that I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have access to my blog friends' stories to help me fill in the gaps of what I needed to know!
And - last but CERTAINLY not least -it's been an inspiration to follow your journey to Gabe and now your journey as Gabe's parents!!
PS - I reserve the right to change my mind too cuz you just never know! :)
agree - Reading blogs was (and still is) my sanity saviour through the initial process and wait and now parenting (especially at the beginning when I was more of a lurker).
I have had no problems with my site being public (knock on wood) - no hate messages etc. I'm truthful - but careful with what I post. And actually just last week, I got a message from a Korean adoptee - and she said our story reminded her to call her parents to tell them how much she loved them. For that it makes it worth while.
Oh, I'm so glad your public, or else I would have never found you!! :) Your son is precious!! I can't wait to read about your journey!!We adopted domestically in August. :)
Your blog was one of the first I started reading when we were very early on (we still are) in the process. Thank you for all your insight and sharing your story. Gabe is adorable. I love to see how happy he is!
I'm with you on all these points....and I love LBOS. What would I have done w/o my waiting buddy?!?
I agree with you on all your points. Often thought about going public, but my IT security officer husband discouraged it :)
Rather ironic.
I'm a little slow in commenting, but I just wanted you to know how much I LOVE your blog! A friend introduced it to me right after we received our referral and something about it immediately clicked with me - the photos are great and your writing is so friendly. If your were private, I would have missed out on many great tips & insights. So glad you are out here! Thank you
I thought I already commented on this post...but I guess not (I don't see it). I totally appreciate your blog posts being open (public). I was so thrilled to find other blogs when we were starting our adoption journey. And...since you went to Korea right before we did I was super excited to follow that part. THANK YOU!
i've been enjoying your blog for nearly a year now! and it has been such a blessing to us while we journey toward our own family.
thanks for always being so candid and for sharing your life... :)
i am SO glad you stayed public -- i never would have found you otherwise! i agree with all your reasons and will probably continue to stay public even after our little one comes home! :)
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